Spalpeen

Yesterday I went to the Labour Deputy Leadership Hustings in Sheffield. I noted down a few phrases (which may be paraphrased) from the debate, of which I’ll be highlighting the best, worst, and most cringeworthy, and making commentary.

David Aaronovitch to the audience: “Lets have a democratic round of applause.” (Because clapping isn’t about conformity and unquestioned respect.)

Hilary Benn on Grammar schools: “At 11 they get a letter through the door telling them they’re a failure.”

Hazel Blears on mental health treatment in the UK: “It was a Cinderella service under the Tories.” On the topic of alternative treatments, including art and drama for mental health patients: “More imagination, more innovation.”

Peter Hain on 16 years old, potential voters: “They’re the future.” (Do I even need to say “duh?”)

Jon Cruddas questioning the same issue: “Are 16 year olds of one voice on this?”

Alan Johnson: “The age of candidacy for elections should come down to 18.”

Hazel Blears on David Cameron: “Man of the people won’t wash.” Harriet Harman on Cameron: ” … David Cameron or Paris Hilton … “

Alan Johnson on John Humphrys: “He’s a bit of a pussycat.” Alan quoting Jeremy Paxman who didn’t do his homework: “‘You went to University Alan?’ No! … I hope for a softball question like that in the future.”

Harriet Harman: “We need someone who can listen to what people can say.” (Even by the low standard of the speech soundbites, this was a bad one…)

And last but very much not least, Alan Johnson had the worst soundbite by far, with an elaborate metaphor that made very little sense. Audience laughed over it. I paraphrase: “As we say in the North East, you don’t blow your own trumpet. But if I join the Gordon Brown brass ensemble, I hope to play some pretty attractive tunes.”